Sunday, May 2, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Well it has been almost 10 weeks since Alex has been at IMG Academy. I have missed him greatly. I think if I had to say one thing that I miss most about not having Alex here(there are many) it would be the music that he brought into our home. If you don't know Alex well you might have missed this great ability he has for finding great new and old music. Every morning Alex would be up before anyone (I am talking school days here) and be in the kitchen, hooking up his ipod to the stereo system and making a play list. Some days it would be Reliant K or a local alternitive rock band with great lyrics and some days it would be Frank Sinatra,Micheal Bouble.orJohn Mayor. There were also days when he would say "Mom mom come here you have to listen to this song. I am so thankful that most of the time I did sit and listen intently to the words of songs that he felt I needed to hear. I'm sad for the times I did not... too busy or too distracted. I think for Alex music is like a window into his soul it expresses things for him that are too hard to express. His time at IMG he would say has been great,he's enjoying being on his own, the friendships he's developed and all the great training he has gotten. The only extremely hard thing has been his latest injury which has forced him to be on the bench for the better part of the last 4 weeks-Planters Fasciitis. Not a injury that ends a career but certainly has put his playing time on hold. There is no good time for an injury that puts you out but it seemed as if this could not be a worse timing with the Dallas Cup rooster being decided. Doug and I both have prayed and wept for Alex knowing how much he wanted this. How are we really doing with opening our hand?
I was having coffee with a dear friend a couple weeks ago we were talking about our kids,jewelry, God all good stuff and she says to me "you hear a lot of this let go and let God,well I think we should cling to God."(I don't think she knew I was writing a blog called "opening my hand") I know my friend well enough to know that if I had said to her- it is hard to cling to God with full or clenched fists; She would have absolutely agreed . I' m just not that quick though-and I'm glad I didn't say anything at the time because it has made me really think about the clinging part. I absolutely agree with her . It is not enough to just give my stuff to God I then have to cling to him and believe in what he says. I think I have been learning to cling to God and his promises knowing that it is OK to weep The Bible says Jesus wept- Jesus wept when he saw his friends weeping over the death of there brother. He did this knowing that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead.Jesus gave us this example of being moved to tears even though he knew what he was going to do. Yeah I am so thankful that God put in this the smallest of all verses in the Bible -I think he did it for us parents. I love that He acknowledges the feelings and outwardly shows compassion. What a great God. Now that 's the kind of faith I'm striving for -I am not quite there but one of my favorite verses has always been found in Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future.You will call to me and pray to Me and I will listen to you.You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Help me Lord to give to you all my tears for the disappointments in this life help me also to cling to you and search for you with all my heart.
What about Alex ? Gosh according to Doug(he is in Florida with Alex right now ) he is doing great even with this set back -he is truly setting an example of believing and trusting-yes disappointed at times,but believing the best knowing God is in control. The last time I saw Alex was right before this injury got so bad it put him on the bench. Of course he was spinning tunes. The first song he played was called: These are the Word I would say by Sidewalk Prophets. I can't think of a more perfect song that he could have given us both. I believe he was saying to us yes I do believe all these things that you would say. You really need to listen to this song it says so much of what I want to say to my son and all my children. The song begins with being up at 3 in the morning(how many times have we been up praying for our kids at that time ?) and grabbing something to write with to tell someone how loved they are by God and what great things God is going to do with them and through them. It really captures I believe a parents heart for their Children."Be strong in the Lord,never give up hope,you're gonna do great things I already know, Gods got his hand on you,so don't live life in fear,forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here...take you're time and pray... These are the Words I would say.....
I was having coffee with a dear friend a couple weeks ago we were talking about our kids,jewelry, God all good stuff and she says to me "you hear a lot of this let go and let God,well I think we should cling to God."(I don't think she knew I was writing a blog called "opening my hand") I know my friend well enough to know that if I had said to her- it is hard to cling to God with full or clenched fists; She would have absolutely agreed . I' m just not that quick though-and I'm glad I didn't say anything at the time because it has made me really think about the clinging part. I absolutely agree with her . It is not enough to just give my stuff to God I then have to cling to him and believe in what he says. I think I have been learning to cling to God and his promises knowing that it is OK to weep The Bible says Jesus wept- Jesus wept when he saw his friends weeping over the death of there brother. He did this knowing that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead.Jesus gave us this example of being moved to tears even though he knew what he was going to do. Yeah I am so thankful that God put in this the smallest of all verses in the Bible -I think he did it for us parents. I love that He acknowledges the feelings and outwardly shows compassion. What a great God. Now that 's the kind of faith I'm striving for -I am not quite there but one of my favorite verses has always been found in Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future.You will call to me and pray to Me and I will listen to you.You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Help me Lord to give to you all my tears for the disappointments in this life help me also to cling to you and search for you with all my heart.
What about Alex ? Gosh according to Doug(he is in Florida with Alex right now ) he is doing great even with this set back -he is truly setting an example of believing and trusting-yes disappointed at times,but believing the best knowing God is in control. The last time I saw Alex was right before this injury got so bad it put him on the bench. Of course he was spinning tunes. The first song he played was called: These are the Word I would say by Sidewalk Prophets. I can't think of a more perfect song that he could have given us both. I believe he was saying to us yes I do believe all these things that you would say. You really need to listen to this song it says so much of what I want to say to my son and all my children. The song begins with being up at 3 in the morning(how many times have we been up praying for our kids at that time ?) and grabbing something to write with to tell someone how loved they are by God and what great things God is going to do with them and through them. It really captures I believe a parents heart for their Children."Be strong in the Lord,never give up hope,you're gonna do great things I already know, Gods got his hand on you,so don't live life in fear,forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here...take you're time and pray... These are the Words I would say.....
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Husband of 20 year. Today a half a century young. You have been my greatest example on this earth of living life with an open hand. It seems unimaginable to me that you are in Florida alone for this milestone. But to you it is - I know just another day. So this my first blog is for you.
You have given freely when we did not have it to give relying on and knowing that it is all God's. You have opened our home to my family in their time of need over and over again in these last 20 years giving them support emotionally and at times financially. Some of the hardest lessons learned have been through the adoption and then the rejection of our son Jesus. I know it was you're heart's desire to give a 12 year old boy a loving family. This was for me the hardest part of our years together and God has helped me in so many ways to open my hand to his plans and forget about what I thought should happen-"the fairytale"-it is God's story not mine. I guess I didn't want to be the adoption "failure". Thank you for reminding me over and over again that we did not fail-God didn't write the story the way we wanted that's all. We need to open our eyes to his plans and purposes. Living life this way-it is hard- I thank God that I have you to help me with all of life's changes. It seems this newest life change in our family has brought me to my knees again in such a powerful and mighty way. It is amazing to me how change and living life outside you're comfort zone can bring you're prayer life to a whole other level. Sending Alex to IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida has been the catalyst for me to take a closer look at how I'am doing with living my life with an open hand. At times -not so good. But I'am gaining momentum with this one- praying and staying connected to God. I do not want to struggle with worry. Forgive me God when I do. Again I have seen you open you're hand with Alex-after being his coach his mentor his hero and his Dad on and off the field for the last 17 years it is amazing to see how you have handled this life change. Not perfectly but well; as I heard in you're voice this morning. You sounded ecstatic for Alex never sad that you would not see him today on you're Birthday. I could hear the absolute joy that you had for him as he made the Academy Team this week and left this morning to play with this team in Birmingham AL. I love that IMG lives out of this philosophy in some ways too in regard to it's players-they help them live with an open hand. There is no guaranteed spot on any team regardless of age or tenure it is all up to the needs of the team and a individuals performance during practice who's going to what tournaments and on what team. They believe in player development and every opportunity to play is a opportunity to grow as a player and a person no matter what team or what position. They believe that player should be thankful for any time to play and that training and hard work is as important as winning. Make every day count-you do this well Doug I'am thankful to you and am glad that I have you to do this crazy life with. When I decided to do this blog I wanted the title to be "Open Hand" of course that was already taken- I guess it is more appropriate that it wound up being "Opening My Hand" I have not quite gotten it yet it is forever a process and I am thankful that God has put you in my life to help me run this race with an open hand Happy 50th !!!!! I Love you, Kim
Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, let us run the race with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us Fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith,who for the joy set before him endured the cross ,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart !!!!!
You have given freely when we did not have it to give relying on and knowing that it is all God's. You have opened our home to my family in their time of need over and over again in these last 20 years giving them support emotionally and at times financially. Some of the hardest lessons learned have been through the adoption and then the rejection of our son Jesus. I know it was you're heart's desire to give a 12 year old boy a loving family. This was for me the hardest part of our years together and God has helped me in so many ways to open my hand to his plans and forget about what I thought should happen-"the fairytale"-it is God's story not mine. I guess I didn't want to be the adoption "failure". Thank you for reminding me over and over again that we did not fail-God didn't write the story the way we wanted that's all. We need to open our eyes to his plans and purposes. Living life this way-it is hard- I thank God that I have you to help me with all of life's changes. It seems this newest life change in our family has brought me to my knees again in such a powerful and mighty way. It is amazing to me how change and living life outside you're comfort zone can bring you're prayer life to a whole other level. Sending Alex to IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida has been the catalyst for me to take a closer look at how I'am doing with living my life with an open hand. At times -not so good. But I'am gaining momentum with this one- praying and staying connected to God. I do not want to struggle with worry. Forgive me God when I do. Again I have seen you open you're hand with Alex-after being his coach his mentor his hero and his Dad on and off the field for the last 17 years it is amazing to see how you have handled this life change. Not perfectly but well; as I heard in you're voice this morning. You sounded ecstatic for Alex never sad that you would not see him today on you're Birthday. I could hear the absolute joy that you had for him as he made the Academy Team this week and left this morning to play with this team in Birmingham AL. I love that IMG lives out of this philosophy in some ways too in regard to it's players-they help them live with an open hand. There is no guaranteed spot on any team regardless of age or tenure it is all up to the needs of the team and a individuals performance during practice who's going to what tournaments and on what team. They believe in player development and every opportunity to play is a opportunity to grow as a player and a person no matter what team or what position. They believe that player should be thankful for any time to play and that training and hard work is as important as winning. Make every day count-you do this well Doug I'am thankful to you and am glad that I have you to do this crazy life with. When I decided to do this blog I wanted the title to be "Open Hand" of course that was already taken- I guess it is more appropriate that it wound up being "Opening My Hand" I have not quite gotten it yet it is forever a process and I am thankful that God has put you in my life to help me run this race with an open hand Happy 50th !!!!! I Love you, Kim
Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, let us run the race with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us Fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith,who for the joy set before him endured the cross ,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart !!!!!
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